November 2008
13 posts
Overheards!
And Made them into a Necklace for you!
Dad to daughters: I’ve stolen more bellybuttons than you can count. Rochester, New York Overheard by: Jude
Which Most People Only Try a Couple of Times in College
Girl #1: Yeah, I hate when people talk about babies like they grow in your stomach. They’re in your uterus! Girl #2: Yeah, it’s so dumb. Like, that’s not even possible...
Lady of Salad
Jenny: I want to jack something. Ice cream. We should jack ice cream.
Me: (eating) Ha! Mmhmm.
Jenny: Actually, I want to jack a salad. (pause) I want to jack the salad lady.
Me: But she wouldn't fit into your purse.
Hotdogging.
Me: We really need to hotdog someone's yard, for real.
Jenny: Is that where you put frozen hotdogs in the grass so that in the morning they are thawed?
Me: Yep, and they look like limp penises. We could even cut them to look like penises.
Jenny: Hahahahaha.
Me: And they would come out of their house and be like... ARRRGHHH! Wait... they're just hot dogs.
Jenny: It would be like a whole bunch of penises growing in their yard. (puts on a redneck accent) They're comin' in real good this year.
Me: (laughing) I was actually thinking more like there was some serial killer that just cut off penises and then stuck them in the yard.
Jenny: I hope an early frost don't kill 'em all.
“‘The barge she sat in, like a burnished throne,
Burned on the water. The...”
– Billy Shakes, “Antony and Cleopatra” Act II.2, lines 201-202.
“Yes… they’re like chiclets of sin.”
– Nathan, about parts of hell in Dante’s Inferno
